I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
