the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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