nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
