If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize