All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
