he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize