He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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