I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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