these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
