I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
