Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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