We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
