My nipple is on Facebook.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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