It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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