that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
