Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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