Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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