Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I bet he comes in French.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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