where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
