We're facebook friends in real life
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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