I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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