Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
