We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
