you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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