what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
