i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
