it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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