That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
