he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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