Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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