He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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