Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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