highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
