We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
