apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
