i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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