spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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