ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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