we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
