You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
