I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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