Will you blow on my dice?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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