If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Less talking, more tequila
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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