I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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