she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
