too bad you live with your parents still
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize