I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
