Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
True strength comes from lack of pants
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
