I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
