it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize