hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
