North Korea, Best Korea!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he was CRYING into my vagina
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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