You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
