It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
