we're blogging at a bar
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i will never coherently bang her
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize