is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
