Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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