if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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