somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
