Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
