i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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