I'm lost and stupid without you.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
