Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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