Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
