At least make sure they are 18
Why
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
