I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Randomize
